I heard this quote on the way to work this morning:
"The Present is the living sum-total of the whole Past."
Thomas Carlyle—
Essays. Characteristics.
(1795-1881, Scottish philosopher, author)It really struck a chord with me on this cold, dreary day, with sleet hitting the windshield as I headed down I-565 @ 70 mph on my way to work. If one thing, just one, had been different in my past, I would not be who I am, what I am, today. If my momma hadn't died when I was 11 years old, who would I be today? If I hadn't met the love of my life 18 years ago on my first day at my new job as a nuclear plant trainee, where would I be today? If my daddy hadn't been struck down with cancer in 1993, what would I be doing today? If I hadn't decided to go back to school and finish my Mathematics degree, where would I be working today?
It does no good to dwell on the past. I know that. And I rarely do. The Present is important. Yesterday is not. And while I don't spend too much time wondering "what if," I do occasionally, when speeding down the highway, listening to the radio, spending time alone.
I do know this: I am what I am (to quote another great philospher, Popeye). That's all that I am. And, I'm damn happy with that.